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Library Staff Association News

Published by the Library Staff Association of the University of Oregon Library System

No. 36, November 2001

Confessions of an excelidiot.

Excelidiot /ex-sul-ID-ee-ut/: noun.

Individual who excels primarily in the field of idiocy
Individual who is outstanding in her inability to work with excel files

My name is Lara, and I am an excelidiot (type 2. If you were thinking type 1, I don't want to hear about it). I cannot make a spreadsheet dance or sing; in fact, for me, they mostly plod, stumble, and hum, hoarsely and out of key. This is a bad thing, and a flaw I try valiantly, but with little success, to overcome.

I have a couple of other deficiencies in my suite of office skills. One is that I am also a fax idiot. Every time I have to send someone a fax, I also send her or him an email telling them to tell me in the very likely event they do not receive my fax. I KNOW it is easy, and straightforward, and any idiot except me can send a fax, and nevertheless, my success rate is in the vicinity of Shaquille O'Neal's free-throw percentage. The other deficiency is that I am ALSO an attachment idiot. Email attachments. I do fine with like attaching my shoe to my foot, and I display reasonable facility with a stapler. But the email ones: sometimes they don't attach. Sometimes they attach but not in any format known to any receiving computer. Sometimes they go fine, but I don't know why. Maybe something to do with whether more Brits are having crumpets today with tea, or scones. Certainly nothing at all to do with whether I know what I'm doing, because the level of my incompetence remains constant.

Every now and again, my excelidiocy combines with my attachment disorder (a term you may have heard in another context, but that's not that the one I mean), to the amusement of all concerned. For instance, I just recently amused The Great and Powerful Barbara Butler (hey, she does hide behind a curtain, more or less, and besides, it never hurts to suck up to the person who controls the payroll) all to heck by sending her not one but three attached messed up excel files. Two of them attached, but I couldn't see them in my sent-mail. The third, I could see, but it didn't attach (scone resurgence, I guess). It was the same attachment each time. It was excelidiofied in the same way each time, too: a sum that is doubled due to subtotal-removal failure. Which should have been hugely obvious to me, what with the point of the spreadsheet being to help me not exceed my student wage allotment, and the sum winding up exceeding it pretty handily. Sigh. I was so busy working on the whole attachment disorder thing that I forgot to quadruple check on the excelidiocy thing. Which I do usually try to do pretty vigorously, since as with any other condition for which one might stand up in a group and announce one's first name and disorder, I'm not real proud of it.

What really drives me bananas about the whole thing is that I really am pretty quick with most other similar applications. I can use all sorts of other softwares pretty handily, or at least well enough to make them do what I want them to do. What I can't do is make sense of Excel. I used to think it was just Microsoft products in general-that for some cosmic reason unknown to me, it would be of benefit to Bill Gates for me to wind up in the bed in a sanitarium he had already reserved in my name. But after a time, the other common MS office products (Powerpoint, Access, and Word) came to make sense to me. Excel still does not. It's specific and discrete. I am, and possibly shall be forevermore, an excelidiot. I can't stand not to throw in this aside: in typing this, I did not capitalize microsoft. Word autocorrected this for me. I am absolutely certain I was not who told it this was a proper noun.

Maybe it's a combination of the Microsoft effect and the economics effect. Economics is a subject area that doesn't work for me. I mean, I can do the math, and I understand why and how to total up different numbers in accounting. It's the whole field of study, which amounts, in my opinion, to a pseudoscience the physical laws of which are built on the entirely unsteady foundation of a human emotion: greed, which is occasionally, but not necessarily predictably, overtaken by other human emotions, such as fear or patriotic fervor. I always feel as though econ textbooks probably ought, as a standing convention, to surround all graphs, charts, and rules with the notation that here there be dragons, because I figure someone will eventually circumnavigate the numbers and come up with a better way for how to make sense of how and why people buy, spend, save, and earn but in the mean time, it's all the great unknown as far as I can see. No intent to cast aspersions on economists here, I just can't make it make sense to me, and I think it's possible that the nature of Excel being to work out economic and accounting sorts of things, maybe it's just wired different than me.

I guess going public with this problem does mean I will have to start being more understanding of people with other office idiot problems. Like for instance people who send me email full of html. It's kind of hard to read, but it is at least more useful that a no-known-format (scone with currant jam instead of marmalade?) attachment. Those patrons for whom the photocopier remains a machine of great mystery, I will have to patiently tolerate as I explain once again the push-button concept. The alphabetically challenged will have to find sympathy here, even though I am, myself, hard-pressed to see how it would be reasonable to look for B between L and P. I might even be required to not even silently notice my mild irritation with people who've never learned to distinguish between certain homophones (you know: "There parking they're cars over their" or "We have to two many too fit.")

Maybe if I apply myself I can learn Excel after all.

--Lara N.

Giving blood

As I was adding the confessions story above, I received an email from the Lane Memorial Blood Bank, telling me they are short on my type (B+). I gave at the campus drive a couple of weeks ago, so am ineligible now, but I thought maybe some of you all who meant to give then and didn't get to it, might be interested. If you've never done it before: it's almost painless, it doesn't take long, and they give you cookies. The most painful part is probably when they ask you about 14,000 embarrassing personal questions to rule out likely contagious blood-borne diseases; other than that, it's easy.

--Lara N.

Blankets for refugees

I am collecting blankets, quilts and sleeping bags in excellent condition for distribution to refugees who have fled Afghanistan. The distribution will be made by the American Friends Service Committee, which has already delivered one shipment of blankets to Afghan refugees in Iran. The truck will leave Eugene on November 23, so I should receive any contributions by November 19. Please call me if you have questions.

Submitted by Tom Stave, 6-3060

FROM THE FACT FILE

Digging for Gold

by TERRY McQUILKIN

Thar's gold in them names! Fact File is sending you out to hunt for gold--found somewhere in the names of ten famous people. This month, we're asking you identify each of the individuals (first and last names) described in the clues given below.

1. This British writer was awarded the Booker Prize for a novel he wrote late in his career, but it for his first novel that he is most remembered: a story of castaway boys whose social order collapses into brutal savagery.

2. Many Americans' first introduction to this actress was in television's zany "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in" during the 1960's. She went on to appear in a large number of films, among them "Shampoo," "Private, Benjamin," and "First Wives Club."

3. After attending law school in California, he returned to his native state, worked as a legal aid attorney, served as a city councilor and, at age 32, became the youngest mayor of a large American city, a position he held until President Carter appointed him to a cabinet post. He served as an executive for a large footwear company, then ran successfully for the governorship of his home state.

4. Known for his efforts (in cooperation with his colleague from across the aisle in the Senate chamber) to pass a bill that would regulate the way in which political races are financed, this Midwestern lawmaker has also sponsored legislation to reduce the number of executive branch political appointments, to abolish the death penalty, and to prohibit racial profiling.

5. During the course of his career, this Polish-born movie pioneer produced over 70 films. Among the many stars who began their movie careers under him were Gary Cooper, Danny Kaye, David Nivin, Lucille Ball and Susan Hayward. At the 1946 Academy Awards Ceremony, he was awarded the Irving Thalberg Memorial Award.

6. A labor attorney who played a key role in the merger of the American Federation of Labor and the Congress of Industrial Organizations, he served as secretary of labor, a Supreme Court justice, and finally ambassador to the United Nations.

7. One of the signers of her country's declaration of independence, she served in a number of the new nation's cabinet posts, and eventually became her country's prime minister. Though she was widely respected, a difficult crisis during her administration led to her decision to step down.

8. Known for being cast in a number of offbeat roles, this actor's film credits include in "Death Wish," "Annie Hall," "The Big Chill," "The Fly," "Independence Day" and "Jurassic Park;" he also did a voiceover in "Prince of Egypt."

9. Unflinching in opinions and blunt in speech, this longtime senator and presidential aspirant declared in an oft-remembered speech, "I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. Let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue."

10. Nominated for 17 Oscars, this composer took home a statuette just once--for his music for "The Omen". But he is regarded throughout the world as one of Hollywood's greatest composers, and certainly once of its most prolific, having written sound tracks for over 200 films, including "Planet of the Apes," "Chinatown", "Patton," "Tora! Tora! Tora!" and "L.A. Confidential."

Once you've identifed these ten persons, submit your answers to Fact File by November 21. The library staff member whose submission has the most correct answers gets the "gold", in the form of a $5.00 gift certificate for purchases at the UO Bookstore. In the event of a tie, a random drawing will be held to determine one winner. The answers, and the name of our winner, will be announced in the December issue of LSA News.

MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!

Yes, it's that time of year once again when we ask all of you to pay your annual LSA membership dues--still only six bucks!

What is dues money used for? Here are the major expenses we have in our budget for this year:

Holiday potluck
375

Spring social
350

Refreshments for programs
150

Newspapers for Knight staff lounge
260

It's easy to see that library life wouldn't be the same without these things, and they wouldn't be possible without your dues! An added incentive to pay dues now is that the library administration has once again graciously agreed to provide support for our efforts in the form of dues matching, so your payment before December 31 will net $9 for LSA. If you would like more detailed budget information, please feel free to ask.

This year there will be a number of volunteers available to receive dues:

Debi Baker	Andrew Howell	Lara Nesselroad
Chelle Batchelor	Dennis Hyatt	Lisa Sieracki
Laura Damiani	Alissa Manske	Tamara Vidos
Pam DeLaittre	Terry McQuilkin	Daphne Wang
Carol Goodyard	Susan Mincks	Linda Zimmerman

Any one of them will be most happy to accept your payment and will make sure it gets to our treasurer, Tamara Vidos, in a timely fashion.

Thank you for your support!

Lisa Sieracki
Ways and Means Committee

Tired of the same old dreary look of the LSA website and newsletter? Want to ooze your creative genius all over these pages? Want to leave your mark (at least for a year or two) on the Staff Association without having to go to meetings or do assignments? We'd love to have a re-design of the LSA website, but we don't have the oooomph in the current Web Committee. Anybody (or bodies) want to take a crack at this? Please contact any member of that committee: Lara Nesselroad (6-2664), Terry McQuilkin (6-0380), Stephanie Michel (6-1897), Barbara Jenkins (6-1925), or Shirien Chappell (6-1914).

Been to an interesting conference? Send us a brief report for publication in the next newsletter. Thanks!

To get you started thinking about things you might report back: here is a snippet from Shirien's notes from a workshop she attended on October 22, on dealing with angry or hostile patrons. Shirien reports this particular snippet was new information for her:

If somebody is really angry (arms crossed, etc.) and you have an open and inviting body posture, you might be interpreted by the angry patron as not getting what the patron patron is saying. If you kinda mirror their posture you're showing that you're right there with them. This is not a mimic technique; that is, you don't scratch your head every time they do, you don't instantly fold your arms right after they do... and also, you don't square off with them.

Robin Paynter went to this same workshop, too, so if you are interested in hearing more about it, you could check with either Robin or Shirien.

Diversity Doings

by Rose Thomas

It's been a really busy couple of months for the Library Diversity Committee. After the shocking events of September 11th and the repeated cropping up of anti-Semitic literature in the Library's Current Periodicals and Stacks areas, I think we all feel more vigilant about the need to continue to promote diversity issues AND to try to focus on ways to make us all feel safer in our own workplace. We've been working behind-the-scenes on some really great things that I want to tell you all about.

First off: THE 2002 LIBRARY DIVERSITY COMMITTEE STILL NEEDS YOU! We are actively seeking four new members for 2002. LDC is headed into its 6th year and we want to keep moving ahead and build on the great accomplishments that we've made as a group this year. Terms of service on LDC are two years running from Jan.1st to Dec.31st. Meetings are held once a month and all staff and faculty are welcome to join. You can nominate yourself or suggest someone you think who would we a good candidate. I encourage you to contact me by Nov.10th if you are interested. My email is rthomas@oregon.uoregon.edu or extension 6-1842.

I recently attended the first UO Diversity Team meeting for the 2001-02 academic year. This monthly meeting brings together staff from a wide range of departments from campus to talk about new and ongoing committees that focus on diversity issues and the upcoming cultural events that are planned for UO students, faculty and staff. The newly formed UO Bias Response Team (BRT) has been comprised of members of the Office of Student Life, the Counseling Center, Conflict Resolution Services, as well as other offices. It was formed specifically to obtain information and respond to incidents of bias on our campus and in our community. By filing a report with BRT, a person will add information to help BRT improve our campus and community climate. An On-line report form is available at the BRT web site. I also took copies of their report form and have them available for any Library staff person or unit who does not already have them.

I think this reporting form is a very important method for everyone, including our large number of student workers, to report bias incidents and get an immediate response. A person reporting such an incident can either give his/her name or remain anonymous.

On October 11, 2001, the Concerned Faculty for Peace and Justice sponsored the "After September 11 Teach-in" in the EMU Ballroom to a packed crowd. Out of that teach-in came a packet of reading material. It's also linked from the LDC's main page.

Finally, David Landazuri and I attended the annual "Weaving New Beginnings" reception in the EMU Ballroom the evening of October 25th. "Weaving New Beginnings" commenced in the fall of 1996 thanks to collaboration from representatives from the Office of Multicultural Affairs, Student Life, Counseling Center, Housing, the Race Task Force, and Academic Progress. Their goal was to bring together students, faculty, and staff of color to facilitate introductions and build relationships accomplished by what is now known at "Weaving New Beginnings".

A packed crowd listened to opening remarks by Nilda Brooklyn, ASUO President and UO President Dave Frohnmayer made welcoming remarks. Then, departmental honors were passed out to various University departments for their work in supporting diversity. The UO Library System was surprised to be among those who were presented with a plaque in recognition of our work and dedication to diversity both on and off campus. It was an honor and a privilege for me to accept the plaque on the behalf of LDC and the UO Library System.

So, it's been a really busy (but rewarding) couple of months for LDC. But the Library Diversity Committee can't continue to operate unless we get help from new members. I hope you consider joining the Library Diversity Committee--we really do great work!

Welcome New Staff!

Lisa Levitt, Office Specialist 2 in Collection Development. Lisa is filling the position previously held by Julie Palmer, and has been on the job since September 24.
Velvet Deatherage, GTF in Reference (Knight).
Heather Briston will be our new Archivist starting November 12. Heather will be taking over the position vacated this past summer by Susan Storch.

And farewell to...

Mark Mimnaugh, Orbis Coordinator (Access Services). Mark didn't work as staff full time for all that long, but has been around for several years including his time as a student in Current Periodicals/Stacks. Mark is heading for sunshiney Southern California, where he has already secured a job at UCLA. He expects to not miss the rain a bit.
Salli-Jo Osborn, Office Specialist in the Office of the Librarian. Salli-Jo has been with us several years.

Kudos

The Grants & Awards committee presented the second annual Faculty Fellowship Awards, courtesy of the Solaris. These awards are given in recognition of truly outstanding contributions to the library in particular or to the library and information technology profession in general. In addition to the certificates handed out at the library faculty meeting, the recipients will each receive $3,000 in a dedicated Foundation account to be used at their discretion within the next three years, and their names will be added to a plaque housed within Knight Library.

This year there were seven nominees. The winners were Shirien Chappell and Christine Sundt. Last year's recipients were Joanne Halgren and Sara Brownmiller. You can see more about this year's awards (and the statements read about the recipients) in the minutes from the faculty meeting at which they were announced.